Some good pranks... (diary)

I don't have much to bitch about, other than not having enough space on my handlebars for all my gadgets (plus my light mount prevented my computer from making contact with the base, so I lost some information). Other than that, coming down Somerset/Wellington/Richmond at 10:30 p.m. on Sunday was pretty darn sweet (30+ kph!)

So instead I'll tell you a couple of pranks I would never actually do (because I'm too damn P.C.):

This first one I got from an episode of the Beverly Hillbillies (I swear I was just channel-hopping!). Go around asking for donations, and when someone writes you a check, tell them to make it out to the "Centre for Attainable Social Housing", or some such similar thing. Obviously, they are not going to write the whole darn thing out, so tell them to just use the abbreviation: C.A.S.H. There's money in your pocket! (Note: this is illegal in at least one way, so don't actually do it - see what I mean about being PC?!)

The second one is get a yellow cycling jacket. One of those durable yellow ones that looks like the one the police wear. Then get a Canadian flag iron-on patch (they only come at tourist shops, so they're expensive), and iron it on the side. It's not illegal--it's patriotic!

Okay, then get an iron-on transfer (I don't know if that would work, it might destroy the jacket) and in big block letters, write "POLICY". Then all you have to do is lean against a lightpost, obscuring the "Y", and people will think you're the police! (again, actually posing as a police officer is an extremely illegal and dangerous thing to do, especially if you're in the cop-hating side of town).

But know this: the police actually sell baseball caps in their gift shops that say "POLICE" on them, and presumably it's not just for your shelf (i.e., they presume you will wear it). So long as you don't actually try to enforce (or "encourage obedience of") any laws, and you don't tell anybody you're a police officer, and answer honestly if someone asks you if you are a police officer, then I don't really see anything illegal in wearing such a hat. I do sometimes late at night when I'm on the bus.

Of course, that isn't to say that it isn't necessarily illegal to assume that people will think you're a cop, even if you don't explicitly say so; I just don't think it is (and I'm not the final word on that).

So anyway, uh, don't do anything I said here...unless perhaps you think you can defend yourself in court...reasonably. It's just a couple of musings I've had that are, well, amusing.

- RG.