Wednesday, March 30, 2005

A step forward (commentary)

I whipped off another letter to the Ottawa Citizen yesterday, and noticed a change in their letters policy.

In the past, they wanted exclusive rights to print your letter.

Now, they are saying that the copyright remains with the author, but they (and their buddies) are free to print and reproduce it.

I think this is progress. Now if they would get rid of that stupid subscriber-only content on the website and make it all available.

- RG>

Monday, March 07, 2005

Next, they'll ban makeup (bitching, commentary)

Lawmakers in Illinois want to ban 'eye jewellery'. Not that anyone in the midwest would have to go anywhere near that far to be considered strange, however.

"I don't think anybody should be messing with the eyeball," Democratic Representative Kevin Joyce said Friday during a procedure to have his cataracts removed and shortly before scheduling an appointment for laser eye surgery.

Proponents of the law posit that it might possibly somehow lead to medical problems, especially if tools are sanitized with toilet water. They also cite the unrefutable slippery slope phenomenon: if we tolerate moderate forms of deviance, it will most certainly lead to more crime and abuse of innocent children.

So what other reason might there be for the government to introduce this legislation? Well, if it causes medical complications, it will cost the taxpayers to pay for their healthcare.

Sorry, what's that? There's no universal health care in the US? People have to pay for their own treatment?

Right. Moving on...

The government's case is a very strong one, as we should always fear things that are new and potentially unboring. People who attempt to install eye jewellery should be charged with a felony offence.

Of course, most people who would do this would probably already be criminals. It's not like any medical professional will go anywhere near it, since some other doctors have suspiciouns that it might lead to disease. But since it's illegal, nobody would ever do this sort of thing untrained and uncertified.

So this means that people will have to revert to the preexisting legal method of getting metal in their eyes: handguns. Obviously, it is safer than having a 'jewelerry professional' insert metal into your eye, because it is legal.

Shrapnel from mortar shells and landmines are also exempt from the proposed law, in order to prevent US soldiers in Iraq from being charged as felons.

- RG>

Thursday, March 03, 2005

When cold and windy isn't so bad... (diary)

I haven't posted in a while. Lots has happened. You probably don't care anyways, and it would be a long, complicated series of bitching that wouldn't be of much interest to you anyway, so there.

I was skating on the Rideau Canal last night (as a paid skate patroller). It was dark, and winds were 35kph gusting to 50kph. The snow was drifting across the ice in the most interesing way. It was like shadows creeping across the ice, or like the northern lights.

Pushing against the wind was very hard, though. I liken it to how I imagine uphill skiing to be like. However, when my partner and I turned around, the wind was strong enough to push us all the way across Dow's Lake (about 1km) at a decent speed, without us pushing at all.

Then, because you're out in the middle of a frozen lake, there's little light, so you can look up and see the sky. It was so clear and beautiful. I recognized the big dipper and polaris, and for the first time, I recognized Orion.

On one night a couple of weeks back, there was a full moon and a clear sky. It was such an incredible sight.

I thought for a minute that this must be what it would be like to live in the far north. But I realized that the romanticism of it would wear off after a (very short) while.

And just like that, I have completely lost interest in this topic. My attention span is officially seven minutes.

- RG>